I am a queer Chican@ Immigrant and a chronically ill person with able bodied privilege.
Being sober means that I rarely ever go out to clubs or events unless I can drag along a sober friend. I have gone out before without that support and I end up feeling overwhelmed and panicky. I need at least a friend with me that will agree to not drink or use substances while we spend time together. In the past this has saved me by knowing that I have someone to be accountable to (I will stay sober) and that I have someone that understands when I feel tempted or miss drinking and using.
Tonight I went dancing. My body missed it so much. I did my awkward shuffle, my cumbia inspired body movements and let my arms relax into the music. It was 90’s dance night at a small club. On the dance floor were awkward people trying to dance while balancing drinks on their hands, bad lip synching, or standing in the middle of the dance floor and talking loudly over the music. It was refreshing to see so many people dancing. We left right as it got crowded, our strategy for limiting time around drunk people.
I went with my sober white friend, I joke that she is the only person in the world that wears crocs but she isn’t. She is however one of the few people I really spend time with in Seattle. Seattle is very white and although the people of color community here is tight, most of us are introverts spend a lot of time alone and only hang when at events centered around alcohol or drugs.
I am shy and I am sick off and on due to multiple serious allergies although when I am not I still often times stay in. It is heartbreaking how little I go out. But I know that sober spaces are often not considered or mentioned as an accessibility issue. I have to decide before any event whether or not I have enough energy to deal with the pot or alcohol smell (if I am not doing well it is triggering), the offerings (it is so uncomfortable), the glorification of drug and alcohol use and the drunk or high people. Most of the time I opt out. I find it easier to spend time alone then have to spend my energy trying to navigate nights of sober inaccessibility; and I am bad at navigation. I am still building skills to function as a sober person in this world and I have been sober for 4 years.
But really though, who has the skills to navigate the drunk culture that queers live in all the time? Like myself most sober queers that I know choose to opt out of going out even when they want to. It’s sad to feel that the connections I make with other queers of color are often blocked off by this unnecessary barrier or occasionally tolerated without trying to understand it. Often times I am asked to accommodate drinking or drug use and I have become used to it; but I still wonder why is it that a recovering addict and alcoholic be exposed to the substances that could’ve have killed them in order to hang out with friends?
I am often times disappointed by the lack of compassion that I get for my requests for sober space in queer communities. I am often times disappointed by the lack of support that I receive by my queer people of color when it comes to my sobriety. I do not want to have to share my sob story to receive compassion or expose my scary and vulnerable drinking past to be understood. I want my people to see this as real, as a something to consider. I want there to be communication that can lead to compromise. For example I know friends who use substances for pain management but will do it before we hang out or after, or in a different room if I am around.
Right now an uncle of mine is dying of cirrhosis of the liver in Mexico. I have lost more people than I can count to alcohol related death or overdosing, I came close to being one of them. I want to be clear that I am not a staunch abstinence-is-the-only way to recover from addiction person but I know that it is what I need and I am not alone. I know people who are not sober but limit their time around drinking or drug use as harm reduction for their use of substances. I also know children of alcoholics and addicts who are not sober but cannot be in spaces that trigger memories of their neglectful or abusive childhoods. I also know youth who have never used and don’t want to and people who just don’t like being around it.
I believe that having more consideration for sober spaces not only will nurture relationships with recovering addicts, it also will be more accessible to youth and will build more skills around de-stressing and coping with the microaggressions that we face daily; More importantly it will start conversations about the people who are not hanging out because of inaccessibility. I dream of a world where I can be with my differently abled friends more than once a year. I want to be able to talk not only about how sober spaces are not considered in queer spaces but how it is connected to the ways that ableism runs our lives and how our attitudes toward ableism keeps disabled people isolated. This is only one way that the queer community can improve, there are many ways that ableism separates us, consider learning about those too.
For Consumption, a short film about a society where food has been outlawed. Corinne discovers food and grapples with the feeling of hunger in a world where it is considered barbaric to satiate oneself by consumption. The film will be accompanied by a live, improvised musical score.
You have been voting all year – now help your favorite project get an opportunity at a spot in the Tribeca Film Institute’s Filmmaker and Industry Meetings at the 2014 Tribeca Film Festival. Last year’s Project of the Year winner, “Dear White People,” premiered to rave reviews at the Sundance Film Festival where writer-director Justin Simien won a Special Jury Prize.
They only have like 30 votes so far!! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE VOTE FOR MAJOR!!!!!!!!!!!
Trans women of color are magical, powerful, skilled and wise, yet there is still no international network for us. This network gathering will change that.
Are you a fan of TWOC? Want to help TWOC from all over come meet in ONE room?!?! Then please share and boost the fuck out of this, we’re trying to raise $16,700 in the next 43 days and need all your help!!!
8tracks is Radio, rediscovered - ..::The Prescription Vol 2 LIVE from the Yay Area!::.. (58min) by lechansonnoir in Oakland | music tags: feminist besties, podcast, fun, the prescription, and womanist | Ya grrls Moya and Alexsarah back atcha once again LIVE from sunny Oakland, California talking King Bey and Capitalism, New Year swag, and generally get…
Request for participation - Black Americans' experiences with workplace incivility
I am a Ph.D. candidate at the Isenberg School of Management and also a graduate of the Teaching for Social Justice and Diversity certificate program at UMass. I am writing my dissertation on incivility in the workplace as it is experienced by Black Americans. Incivility has been defined as seemingly minor, negative comments or behaviors directed at an individual. Examples of incivility include things such as interrupting, speaking in a condescending tone, questioning one’s ability, ignoring or minimizing an individual’s contribution, etc. Such rude and discourteous behaviors at work can have detrimental effects on the individuals who are the targets. It has been suggested that incivility may, in some instances, be an indication of racism in the workplace. Yet, research on the relationship between race and incivility has been lacking.
The goal of my research is to explore the relationship between racism and workplace incivility. I am specifically interested in how Black Americans experience incivility and how these experiences may differ from the current conceptualization of workplace incivility which has been primarily focused on how White American’s identify and define these negative interactions. To better understand the nature of incivility, I will be conducting individual interviews and focus groups to hear about the actual experiences of Black Americans who have encountered these negative interactions in the workplace.
If you, or someone you know, are interested in participating in a 30- 45 minute interview or a focus group (date and time will be determined based on participant’s availability), or would simply like to learn more about the project, please send an email to: firstname.lastname@example.org<mailto:email@example.com>. I am specifically hoping to interview full- or part-time working professionals. Note that this research has been approved by the Human Subjects Internal Review Board (IRB) and that all information that is collected will be completely confidential.
I hope you will consider participating and/or re-posting. Please don’t hesitate to contact me if you have any questions.
The AMC2014 Input Survey will provide essential information for the conference planning process. This survey should only take you 20 minutes to complete and your response is kept anonymous. Next we
Hey beautiful beings!
there’s a survey from the Allied Media Conference asking for folks to give feedback, thoughts, etc on what YOU would like to see from the conference! It’s your time to talk about your needs, wants, necessities, etc. This is crucial to forming future AMCs!
can there please be some kind of online exchange where trans boys can give their old clothes to trans girls and vice versa? does that exist? if not am i allowed to start one because holy wow that would be the bomb diggety
Scholarship opportunity! Feel free to pass on to your networks:
"APIQWTC (Asian Pacific Islander Queer Women and Transgender Community) is based in the San Francisco Bay Area and provides support and community for nearly 800 queer Asian and Pacific Islander individuals. The APIQWTC scholarship supports queer API women and transgender people in their pursuit of technical/professional training or higher education. The scholarship hopes to recognize those who are active in the community and encourage future leaders. APIQWTC will be awarding scholarships of $1000 to two Asian/Pacific Islander lesbian, bisexual, or queer women or transgender individuals pursuing technical/professional training or an undergraduate/graduate degree."